Discovery of Indira !

Life has been not only kind but has also been replete with surprises. My wife Indira is a surprise gift from God. I do not deserve such a gift. But there is a constant conspiracy, as it were, in heaven to surprise me. It was an arranged marriage. Today we complete twenty-five years of our wedded life. These twenty-five years have seen some ups and many downs.

She hails from a very orthodox family with full of traditions and customs. She had to leave all that was hers because she took the vow to be with me through thick and thin. Through the worst of times in my life, I discovered Indira, my wife. When life seemed to be at its worst, she dared to pray with me for death too. She has been surprising me and my children by the way she responds and reacts to sufferings in our life.

Three incidents in my life are very significant when she displayed the material she is made of: When there were talks going on for the marriage alliance, I personally wrote many letters to her. She hails from such a conformist family that receiving personal letters, let alone love letters, from the opposite sex is a taboo. Therefore, the letters I wrote detailing my conversion to Christianity and some other letters remained unopened and unread until our wedding. Along with other gifts, my in-laws gave me bundle of letters. It was such a surprise that later on I came to know that her parents did not allow her to read my letters. She read all of the after our wedding. Yet, she accepted me. What is more, even my in-laws accepted me unconditionally. That makes me carry the feeling of being guilty of not making her aware of my religious inclinations and conversion before our wedding. She has been so committed to the relationship that she too began following My Lord and My God—Jesus the Christ—after her baptism on February 10, 1993.

Second, during 1995, some of my comments were misquoted in the press. There was quite an embarrassment at work place. We had to undergo a lot of humiliation. When I was attacked by some goons she came forward and told them, “stop beating him. Otherwise, kill me and my children along with him.” When we visited the shops for purchase of grocery and other needs, we were sternly refused. Even the regular auto-rickshaw service provider too told us that he had been warned not to carry my children to school. Finally, we had to leave the place and settle somewhere else. The humiliation and the resultant impact on our psyche made us aware of our vulnerability and that made us live closer together as a well-knit family. By never being provocative, confrontational and nagging even at the worst of times, Indira earned and enjoyed the undivided love of my children—Avinash and Saroj—and myself.

As recent as 2006, we came into such a situation that we had to simply leave everything that we possessed including our shame and self-respect. The financial situation was so weak, that our landlord rudely told us, ‘You can’t afford my house. Vacate my house before I force you out of it.’ The credit recovery agents from different banks which provided me credit cards often knocked on my door and further dented our sense of worth. Anything we touched turned out to be a great failure. Friends, colleagues, relatives and even strangers were all in a mood to either fire us or provide painful advice. Through all these we had no one except Our Lord and Saviour! Through all these, Indira remained positive like a rock against the angry waves of life. My children and I remained protected and loved. That strength and that love is a gift of God.
If ever Time demands details of these sufferings and the ensuing reinforcement of our faith in staying united as a family, they could be shared with you. But believe me, when I experienced the feeling that I am being loved by My Lord and Saviour and by my wife Indira and My children Avinash and Saroj, the sense of shipwreck, the feeling of being lonely and the feeling of loss of self worth, ebbed out of my scheme of things and the confidence I lost returned with rejuvenated vigour.

It is a mystery, indeed, that how God has been so kind that he prepared and planned my life in advance and provided such support systems which not only strengthen my soul but also regulate, as it were, my life. Father, I thank You for the many blessings, especially Indira, Avinash and Saroj.